Even a Child Can Do It
Our son Nick and his family seem like a perfect family. They look like they must always be kind to each other; their children are probably good and kind and share all the time.
Well, if you are human, you realize that is not the case. They struggle like every family struggles. There is always an ongoing fight to do what is right.
A while back one of their children developed a real rage problem. I am the Yaya (what my grandchildren call me), and on one visit even I saw that this was a real difficult puzzle. Nick and Julia asked us to pray for them to have wisdom and discernment, and so we did earnestly. I am sharing about this with their permission and with the hope that their story could help others.
One particular evening the anger again came to a head. 
Nick and Julia had been reading different things to try and find some answers, and they had come up with a plan. As Nick started to talk to his child he laid down some rules that the child needed to follow when he began to feel great anger. The idea was to help him get control of these overwhelming feelings he was experiencing. They called it “Take 5.”
Take 5
- Take deep breaths
- Count from 1 to 10, and then count backward from 10 to 1
- Say one thing that you are thankful for
- Practice smiling even if you don’t feel like it
- Pray to God for help
The first two cause a person to break from the aggravating situation, slow things down, and let off some steam. But Nick and Julia chose being th(i)nkful as the exercise that tends to “overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). Forcing yourself into a thought-search for positive things tends to eat the stuffings out of anger.
Take 5 has helped tremendously! Not only has it helped their child control his anger outbursts much better, but also the parents, and grandparents (!) have benefited from this exercise. It is simple enough for a young child to implement, but effective enough for anyone, young or old. Hearing this little guy pray to God for help is so inspiring. We, too, can pray to God for help and He hears and answers us.
After a season of their child experiencing victory, Nick and Julia happened upon a candy bar that was called Take 5. 🙂 
One evening their little guy was allowed to stay up after the others had gone to bed, and just Daddy, Mommy, and the little victor each got to enjoy a Take 5 bar. Hearing about this made my heart smile.
You Choose Th(i)nkfulness
Just like a little child seeking to get control over his or her emotions and choosing one thing that they are thankful for, we as adults can combat both the flurry and fury of negative emotions by choosing to be thankful. It requires a choice.
So, I shared the Take 5 concept with a friend recently and within a day she texted me that she had put it to use. At the end she commented, “Take 5 is not just for 4-year-olds!”
Thanks requires choice.
In other words they are not good bedfellows. One has to leave.
The ‘D’ verse was “Do all things without murmuring and disputings.” (Phil. 2:14).
You refuse to think the grumpy thoughts of complaining and instead exercise your will to think thanks about whatever is in front of you.
THE DAILY EXCHANGE. Every day Elisa and Nicole text back and forth things they are #thinkful for. They have developed a pattern to spur each other on to look for things that they are thinking thanks about that day. Both of these ladies live in a climate where a long winter is approaching and it becomes harder to feel thankful and more necessary to think thanks. I welled up with tears to read that they were doing this. How cool! Having an accountability partner to keep you on track helps incredibly.
TH(I)NKFUL JOURNAL. My friend Marni sent me this picture. She had been given a small journal. It was to inspire one to write down one thing every day that your were th(i)nkful for. Our brains develop neural pathways by doing something over and over again. At first it feels like you are carving a difficult path through the woods, but as you do it over and over, it starts to happen automatically.
There are ways to build thought patterns within our minds to always be on the lookout for what we can think thanks about in every situation – I’ll call them “carving tools.” Carving a groove – creating a mental preoccupation with thankfulness – is a safeguard that can keep our hearts and souls from destruction. There are times when it is easy to identify what to be thankful for, and there are times when being thankful is the last thing you want to be. A cool side benefit of this groove is that as you carve out the brain pattern, it becomes easier and easier to “get in the groove” – to spontaneously recognize the things to be thankful for.
se the tool of choosing to think thanks and then express that thanks orally or in a written form. I put on the “glasses of gratitude” and look at everything around me and in me through those lenses. God has promised that He is sovereign and is going to give me all I need to do His will if I will appropriate that grace (I Cor.10:13).
Eternity Glasses
The Lord IS our Rock, and He wants us to meditate and give thanks for that.
This is a picture of our son, Nicolas, and his beautiful Julia. They gave me a special present this year for my birthday – a Daily Gratitude Journal! In this journal there are only blank pages divided by a line in the middle and a space on which to put the date. You could use really any kind of notebook to do the same thing. The idea behind it is to get into a pattern of writing down your th(i)nkful list. At the end of the day you take a moment to reflect on what you were thankful for that day.
I started doing that after getting this book from Nick and Julia. Some entries are not so full. Some entries can barely fit all that I want to record. But the beautiful thing that I find happening to me is that, as I go through my days, I make mental notes of the things I need to remember to record that evening. This goes for easy days, as well has hard days.
learned a gem that afternoon. Our group sang songs for them and in return they wanted to sing for us. They did a much better job. 🙂 One of the songs they sang was “Hold on to Jesus, Hold on, Hold on, Hold on.” I thought to myself that wow, that doctrine was so shallow. They should have been taught deeper truths. However, the gem I discovered was that the most important thing to do when going through horrendous difficulties and challenges is to “Hold on to Jesus.”
