Can Hard Get Harder?

“Oh, no!” a friend cried out as she lost her balance and fell to the floor. Her left wrist caught her fall and yielded to a small bone fracture.

My dear friend ended up in the emergency room, had to have her ring cut off, and her left hand is now out of commission for four weeks, right during the holidays!

In a totally different part of the world my dear daughter in the Lord, Adaleen, also had a challenging Christmas. She went to worship with the church on Christmas Day and then returned to her tiny apartment and enjoyed Christmas all alone.

She writes:

It was so peaceful
Gave thanks to the Lord
Opened my gifts
I ate until I couldn’t move 😄
And then took a little nap🙏🏽

“The hardest time to go through a hard time is in the good times.”

David Brown

Another friend and coworker is missing a recently deceased spouse. The internal conflict of going through that first Christmas without a special someone is legendary.

Suffering a broken wrist when you want to serve others in the kitchen, or being alone at a time when family gathers, or navigating a joyful season when your life partner will no longer share it with you. These things are hard…..

……but even harder at Christmas.

Why Is It So Difficult?

We have an expectation inside of what is right and good, and when Christmas comes, and one or more of those conditions are not there, it exaggerates the pain. Imagine Christmas without any music. Or Christmas without any lights or decorations anywhere. It would just seem so wrong, downright disturbing and dystopian.

But play the music and put up decorations everywhere, and then imagine Christmas where you cannot participate in any meaningful way due to illness, injury, or responsibilities elsewhere, or Christmas without dear ones who have passed away. Again, it just seems wrong. The radiance of the Advent turns up the contrast on the darkness in your heart. I remember when my mom died that I didn’t want Christmas to come. I wanted to avoid it because it hurt so much.

I often think of the advice given to Ciara when she returned home from quadruple amputation last year. Her friend told her to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

She wanted to give up. It was too hard, but God gave her grace to pursue gratitude and trust in a sovereign God. She started to think thanks. Her slogan has become Always grateful.

You choose to think the right thoughts. It’s a work in progress. We fall. We get back up. We choose to be strong and let our hearts take courage, we who wait on the LORD (Psalm 31:24).

You download grace from the LORD’s inexhaustible storehouse to think thanks in every circumstance.

This is not easy! This is maturity above immaturity. This is warfare of the mind!

“I WILL offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving
and call on the name of the LORD.”

Psalm 116:17

It’s a sacrifice of thanksgiving. Sacrifices costs you something!!

Processing the Hard

You don’t ignore the pain. You are allowed to pour out your heart to the Lord. You can do it in anguish even, but run to Him with your pain and not away from Him. He wants to make you better, steadfastly faithful through this, more like His Son, Jesus.

Learning to search for thankful thoughts when you are sad and struggling is a feat indeed.

My friend Debbie, who broke her wrist did that. In fact, she found comfort and inspiration in Ciara’s godly response. How beautiful is that!!

Ciara and Debbie are both worshipping God with their gratitude in the midsts of their pain and frustration. It is like pouring fertilizer on their reward one day in heaven.

We don’t get to choose what kind of tests the Lord will take us through. He chooses our crosses. But we get to choose how we respond.

Having a friend to walk with you during these times is helpful. Just to express to that friend:

“Yes, it is hard, but I am choosing to think on truth.”

• The Lord has not left me (Isaiah 43:2, Hebrews 13:5b)
• It could have been worse (Revelation 16:17-21)
• It will pass; even if it lasts as long as this earthly life, we are headed to a Celestial City where there is no more pain (Hebrews 11:14-16, 12:22-29, Revelation 21:4)
• God’s Word is a rock of refuge to us (Psalm 71:3a)
• Others may gain inspiration from me thinking thanks which in turn brings more glory to God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Embrace the Hard

I am challenging myself here, as well as seeking to inspire you, to not run away from the “hard,” but instead face it, run toward it, embrace it. You will get through it!!

Step by step, download grace. Cry out to the Lord for help and think thanks!